Tuesday, May 01, 2007

MST3K, please come back!

This is why we need you, Satellite of Love! Don't let the floodtide of filth get me!

Okay, everyone: comments challenge! Let's see who can come up with the best MST-ed responses to this. Bonus points for actually using Crow and Servo in your riffing.

Dug up a little more info on our boy George Putnam. An intriguing data point about the little masterpiece we're streaming here is that according to the Wikipedia entry, it was financed by Charles Keating, who would go down in ignominy in the 1989 savings and loan scandal. Putnam, amazingly, is still alive and working in his mid-90's, and has a right-wing radio talk show.

Here also is Wikipedia's interesting entry about the film.

And then enjoy this to see how much fun you can have with editing software.


  1. I don't know who MST is, but the primary thought that came to me was how much I could sell those magazines on eBay, if I had them.

    I'd be rich!

  2. OK, I was disturbed by the apparent young age of some of the kids in these images. I mean, if you were caught with some of those images today--you'd be arrested. Were they really sold on newsstands?

    BUTT overall, I learned some things.

    For example, I was unaware that heterosexual males could be made gay by reading fitness magazines.

    Thanks for the educational opportunity.

  3. I don't know who MST is,

    BLASPHEMY!!!! Quick, somebody persecute him!!!

    Really though, while watching that I couldn't help but think, for a guy who's crusading against such things, that guy's porn collection is huge.

    And, he's clearly been reading them too.

  4. Tracie: Some years ago there was a guy whose name I think was David Hamilton, and he was famed for producing lots of soft-focus coffee-table photography books of nude girls, most of whom were clearly under 18. How he got away with it I don't know.

    I understand that in the nudist culture, they have publications and websites and what have you in which whole families, including kids, are shown having picnics, playing volleyball, stuff like that. Again, I don't know where, legally, the line is drawn, though the idea of photos of entire families having utterly normal seeming family outings while not wearing a stitch is weird at an elementary level. The dinstinction to be made is that there is nothing at all about nudist culture that is sexually motivated or inspired; they're just people who like going around tackle-out, so to speak. To morality cops like our "noted journalist" here, I'm sure there's no such distinction to be made.

    Saurian: I too was boggled by the sheer volume of publications on display, though I guess I shouldn't have been so naive. It's easy to get the mistaken idea that girlie mags and more sexually explicit publications didn't come along until after Playboy hit it big in the mid-1950s. But in reality, pornography existed all the way back in antiquity.

    But yeah, this guy's done his journalistic "research," hasn't he? Back about 20 years ago, Austin had its own anti-porn crusader, a fellow named Mark Weaver, who became the town's official guy you love to hate after a notorious incident in which he managed to get our popular alternative free weekly paper, The Austin Chronicle, dropped by the HEB supermarket chain because he didn't like that they featured gay personal ads in the back. The backlash was so strong that the supermarket relented within a week — their CEO actually offering a letter of public apology for caving in to one man instead of listening to their majority of customers — and Weaver retreated with his tail between his legs. In the early 90's he kind of dropped out of sight, and no one seems to know what became of him.

    But yeah, the joke at the time was that Weaver had the largest private porn collection of any Austin citizen. For research, you know.

  5. Narrator: I'd like to begin with a fact...a simple, yet shocking, fact!
    Tom Servo: I toss off twice a day.

    Narrator: A flood tide of filth is engulfing our country...
    Mike: Is that like the Crimson Tide?

    Narrator: We know that once a person is perveted, it is practically impossible for that person to adjust to normal attitudes in regards to sex.
    Crowe: Instead the find themselves drawn to whips, chains, manacles, and edible underpants.

    Narrator: Abnormal sex! Crime and violence...
    Servo: Hey, hey, hey...what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

  6. I agree that nudity in itself is not a problem. And even nude children (or photos of nude children) don't offend me--but I have to admit some of these photos were ones I'd agree hinted at sexuality; and that's a little "JonBenet Ramsey" creepy to me.

  7. Martin,

    But yeah, the joke at the time was that Weaver had the largest private porn collection of any Austin citizen. For research, you know.

    Of course! Of course! Same reason I have my, uh, "collection of literature".

    To P-Momma,

    Brilliant, but uh, where's Joel?

    Man, I miss that show. Thank Zog for DVDs.

  8. Hi, somehow made it over here fromathiest revolution blog. I really (ahem) enjoyed the video. A bit of dejevu for me. I've always been fascinated with smut myself, ever since I was about 8 years & started reading my dads books he so cleverly hid under the bed.
    Am I preverted? Well, I'm not a sadist, masochisic, a pedophile, a homosexual or have any romantic inclinations toward my dog.

  9. Am I preverted? Well, I'm not a sadist, masochisic, a pedophile, a homosexual or have any romantic inclinations toward my dog.

    Clearly, you're not trying hard enough.


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