Friday, January 02, 2009

Celebrate the new year by beating up on some religious wankers!

What better way to get 2009 off to a positive start?

Wanker A: Kent Hovind.

The 11th Circuit Court of appeals has upheld Hovind's conviction. Too bad, so sad. One thing I've always been amused by is the way that, nearly two years later, this post has become AE's zombie thread, with the occasional Hovindite still popping up like a gopher after finding the thing via Google, and posting some petulant comment about how we're mean and evil and a bunch of heartless bullies and they hope we find the grace of Jebus in our hearts and all that. And oh yeah, Kent's innocent and the tax laws are unfair/illegal/evil/whatever, too. There is no breaking the delusions of fundies, and there's no overestimating just how profoundly disconnected from reality they are. After all, Kent still indulges in his laugh-a-minute "dialogues with God," which you just have to read. (HT: PZ)

Wanker B: Ben Stein.

What fun! You can vote for Ben Stein to receive the Malkin Award, handed out by Andrew Sullivan over at the Daily Dish. The Malkin Award is, in his words, "for shrill, hyperbolic, divisive and intemperate right-wing rhetoric. Ann Coulter is ineligible - to give others a chance." Hat tip on this one to Jim Emerson, editor of, where the venerable movie critic already beat Stein bloody a few weeks ago. Emerson has his own flogging to deliver unto Stein at his own Chicago Sun Times blog, too.

Addendum — Wanker C: Casey Luskin

The Discovery Institute's official punching bag gets his ass handed to him by Ken Miller, for getting everything wrong about Miller's testimony in Dover...let alone the pathetic foolishness of still trying to win a case his side lost decisively three years ago. ID is deader than dead, Casey. Deal.


  1. Do we need to go there? Hovind lives his life based on an idiotic worldview, propped up by his ability to lie through his teeth the way other people breathe. Stein lives his life based on... well, exactly the same thing! Isn't that punishment enough?

    On the other hand, the worldviews they promote have ruined the lives of hundred of thousands if not millions of people, including people who reject their position.

    Never mind, let's pile on!

  2. Voted!

    I'm always amused by these fundies who hate the tax code, call it evil, Satanic, etc... apparently wishing to live in the US and enjoy the ambient benefits thereof, but can't stomach paying their fair share in return. Yes, Jeebus would truly love such narcissistic social parasites and their armed compounds in the boondocks.

    Well, it's good to see cultural gangrene like Hovind put behind bars where he belongs. If only he could work off his debt to society binding evolution textbooks...

  3. Ugh, Ben Stein made the typical "macro-evolution" and "how are you moral?" creationist angles look brilliant in comparison. "Evolution doesn't explain gravity" holy crap.

  4. Evolution doesn't explain airplanes either.

  5. Fricking Hilarious.

    Al Capone: Charged with 22 counts of tax evasion
    Kent 'Dr Dino' Hovind: Charged with 58 federal counts

    To be fair though, (at least to my knowledge) Al Capone didn't try and claim that the government didn't have the right to collect taxes in the first place.

    I keep thinking of that scene from Mad Mad Mad World:
    Lennie Pike: *Everybody* pays taxes!- Even businessmen, who rob and cheat and steal from people everyday, even *they* have to pay *taxes*!

    Seriously. The guy's a frickin train wreck:
    "Oklahoma City bombing was done on purpose. Did you know the Federal Government blew up their own building to blame it on the militias and to get rid of some people that weren't cooperating with the system?"


  6. I know that you did not mean "beating up on" in the physical sense, but I think I'd try to avoid titles like this that will be manipulated by Christians.

  7. The Hovind thread is pure gold. Somehow its very entertaining to see theists throw out all logic and reason. Its like watching an accident, you can't look away.
    Thats why i love the live calls on the AE show... amazing how they dodge logic, facts and reason.

  8. The saddest thing about the Hovind "dialogue" is the comments section. The thing that always bothers me the most about these characters isn't that they exist, but that they attract constituencies of thousands of supporters. It reinforces my belief that human beings are, for the most part, imbeciles, and incapable of solving their problems. It's one of the few things about which I agree with the fundies; we're living in the "last days", and they are one of the prime causal factors.

    As far as Ben Stein is concerned - on behalf of world Jewry, I apologize.

    (And may I cast a vote for meaning "beating up on religious wankers" in the physical sense?)

  9. Cipher wrote: ... they attract constituencies of thousands of supporters. It reinforces my belief that human beings are, for the most part, imbeciles and incapable of solving their problems.

    I so agree. But there is little we can do to turn the puppets of society into real live people, my Dear Geppetto. They likely reflect the 68.27% under the height of the bell curve of human intelligence....

    Unless we mandate a uniform be worn by such people, which includes a big red nose and long floppy shoes, we must settle for the enjoyment we find merely laughing at their ideas.

  10. Ben Stein deserves an extra flogging for this diatribe (if indeed it's accurate):

    The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning


    My confession:

    I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees.. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

    It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they ar e slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu .. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

    I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

    Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

    In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

    Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

    In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

    Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

    Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

    Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

    Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

    Are you laughing yet?

    Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

    Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

    My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

    Ben Stein

    Curiously this was forwarded to me by someone I didn't know supported this kind of stuff... [sigh].

  11. Stein is a colossal tool who thinks that he is far, far brighter than he actually is.

  12. @-C
    Evolution doesn't explain airplanes either.

    But evolution does explain Jessica Alba...and that's good enough for me!

  13. Touche, good sir. Touche.

  14. v_quixotic this sounds exactly like the kind of e mail that I would get from either my mom or my cousin.

    It's also the kind of e mail that should get a quick Snopes check.

    Alas, from Snopes:

    "Mr. Stein offers occasional commentaries for the CBS Sunday Morning news program, and the item quoted above is based on one such commentary, entitled 'Confessions for the Holidays' and delivered by Mr. Stein on that program on 18 December 2005, one week before Christmas. However, the version widely circulated via e mail includes some transcription errors and modifications that were not part of the piece as originally aired."

    Then Snopes prints the original transcript.

    Here's the whole thing:

    I know two things:

    1. Snopes, although not perfect, is a reliable resource.

    2. My relatives, especially my cousin, will dismiss anything from Snopes as non-trustworthy due to its 'liberal bias' and being 'in the tank for Obama'. (bangs head against desk)

    Although what you got expresses the mindset of conservative Christians, it shows me that they're willing to cut and paste a whole bunch of things, play fast and loose with the facts and take liberties with attribution to get their point across.

    Not that liberals and atheists can't be guilty of the same thing, but that I see it so often from the Right.

  15. I've said it before and I've said it again: People like us are crippled by our need to make sense, speak the truth, and our complete willingness to admit we're wrong.

    How do you compete against those with absolute certainty of their version of the truth?

  16. Also, as a non-american observing american media, I am leaning towards the belief that there is no such thing as a liberal bias.

    IMO 'Liberal bias' is an umbrella term for secular rationalists who won't bow to the will of the masses and instead choose to display the news fairly.

    If someone actually knows of a liberal-biased news organization (to the degree, of, say, Fox News but in the opposite direction) please tell.

  17. If someone actually knows of a liberal-biased news organization (to the degree, of, say, Fox News but in the opposite direction) please tell.

    I believe they call that "The Daily Show".


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