Wednesday, December 09, 2009

This holiday season, shop at "naughty" retailers!

Better call the waaaaambulance. The "War on Christmas" is in full swing in fundieland, and the first casualties are rolling in. Or not.

Got an email heads-up tonight about the "Naughty and Nice 2009" list cooked up by the American "Family" Association. Right-wing fundamentalists absolutely love their collective persecution complex. It's the only thing they have, really, that gives them any empowerment.

The feelings of entitlement behind the nonexistent "War on Christmas" essentially have to do with Christians not liking the fact that anyone other than themselves exist, as well as not liking the fact that this secular world out there happens to be filled with people who enjoy celebrating the holiday season too, and last of all, going batshit insane over the fact that there are some retailers out there who approach the holiday shopping season with an eye to inclusiveness rather than exclusion. Fundies simply don't want retailers to cater to anyone but themselves. So they've decided that if holiday advertising says things like "Happy Holidays!" instead of "Merry Christmas!", then these are godless evil Christian-hating lefty tree-hugging commie hippie faggot hellbound devil-worshiping retailers who want to make the Baby Jesus cry, and good Jesus-loving Amerikans have a duty to boycott them.

For those of you who don't want to abuse your eyeballs and brain cells by following the link to the AFA page (though there are some abusive comments there that are pretty sweet), I'll just repost their list of "anti"-Christmas retailers below — these would be retailers who cheerfully greet those who celebrate Channukah, Kwanzaa, the Yuletide, or who just enjoy the secular celebrations of gift-giving, sharing love and warmth, and scrumptious turkey and dressing, in addition to Christmas-celebrating Christians. It saddens me that so many Christians are so childish and selfish that they want to deny happiness to all but themselves this time of year. But that's the evil of religion. Thinking you belong to the chosen people of the creator of the universe tends to do ugly things to the egos of people who lack the moral development to respect their fellow humans as much as they demand respect from us.

Companies marginalizing "Christmas" (according to the AFA, this means the company "refers to Christmas infrequently, or in a single advertising medium, but not in others")

Bass Pro Shops
Banana Republic
Barnes & Noble
Best Buy
Gap Stores
Hancock Fabrics
Hy-Vee Stores
Old Navy
Toys R Us
Whole Foods

Companies against "Christmas" (this means the company "may use "Christmas" sparingly in a single or unique product description, but as a company, does not recognize it")

Advance Auto Parts
Barnes & Noble
Best Buy
CVS Pharmacy
Dick's Sporting Goods
Home Shopping Network
Limited Brands
Office Depot
Radio Shack
Victoria's Secret

So what about the companies who are "for" Christmas? Well, you can shop with them too, if you like! Because as atheists, we believe in freedom of choice and conscience, both on the part of shoppers and the companies that service them, and we'd never tell you not to shop somewhere simply because we thought they offended some precious inviolable ideology of ours (and atheists don't really have those kinds of ideologies, anyway). Sure, we might suggest that people shouldn't patronize one business or another if it could be shown that they were engaged in unethical or illegal practices, but in that regard, we're no different than the BBB. So hey, shop anywhere you like this holiday season. And, just to tweak the hateful, empty people at the AFA, throw a few more extra dollars than you planned at the folks they've red-flagged. Spread the love the AFA hasn't got!


  1. I don't think the AFA would exactly be thrilled if the Victoria Secret models were pimping Jesus, either.

  2. Did anyone else notice Best Buy is on both lists? Isn't that kinda contradictory?

  3. I would suggest one not expect consistency or even good sense from indignant fundies on a tear.

  4. Looks like the people at the AFA, "don't play nice". lol

  5. I particularly enjoy the fact that they call this a naughty or nice list, giving credence to the secular nature of the holiday.

    I seem to remember a few years ago that the focus was on the minimum wage-earner scanning your items saying "Merry Christmas." If this is what the War on Christmas is down to, then it's hardly anything to even pay attention to.

  6. Did anyone else notice Best Buy is on both lists? Isn't that kinda contradictory?"

    So is Barns and Noble.

    Which is odd since my local one really really pushes the christian right wing. There's an entire island of "Christian Inspiration" next to the "nature lovers" the former has stuff like Fireproof, Leftbehind, and of course Beck, while the later has great coffee table NG photo albums, including one awesome on that's an illustration on the fossil record. Truly surreal.

  7. Looks like the people at the AFA, "don't play nice". lol"

    Yes cause bitching about people not degrading jews at x-mas is entirely the same as bitching about Rick Warren giving silent consent to mass murder.

    What planet are you from?

  8. This is one "war" they can't win. No retailer is going to willingly limit their markets, due to a portion of their demongraphic possibilities. Unlike the "theist/atheist" divide, where theists surely have us outnumbered, the "conservative wingnut vs. all other human beings with money" falls to "all other human beings with money" so far as numbers.

    The only national or global retailers who would appease AFA would be those with owners who already lean toward that agenda already--like Hobby Lobby, and I think Walmart does as well? I know Ross locally carries a load of religious items as well. But I think that's just for their religious customers. I don't get the feel they're a particularly religious store...?

  9. This is funny! I said "demongraphic".

    Freudian slip!

  10. @ Tacie

    If Buffy and Angel has taught us anything its that demons are people to. Where is is a Plygarian like Lorne supposed to get the trappings for his holiday show?

  11. Naughty?

    Hell try

    and say your taking prisoners of war.

  12. @Ing-I noticed the same thing. It's pathetic really. Christmas gets advertised as early as September nowadays, how come is it being marginalised? Every other holiday is getting marginalised in favour of Christmas!

  13. @ Guillermo

    Lewis Black has a rant about how Christians are taking over more and more of the year each year...and STILL bitch that Jews want their 7 days.

  14. I thought it was funny that Bass-Pro shops were the first shop on the yellow list. My boss was just telling me last week about how they had the greatest Santa display, and I should take my son. I didn't, but I saw a billboard just this Monday, advertising the Bass Pro Santa.

    So I wonder how they're marginalizing Christmas. Maybe some of his elves are Jewish...

  15. @Ing-Yeah, Christmas is advertised in September, you can see Christmas decorations way before Halloween ones, Christmas is the holidays that sells most cards, decorations, candies, gifts...yet it is being attacked? Really?

    Funny, I think atheists in general accomodate themselves with Christmas, or indeed any religious holiday, pretty well. The most proheminent symbol of the season, the Christmas tree, has tis roots in Pagan myths, and so are its variations, such as the Yule log or our Bûche de Noël. Christians families have a freaking Yggdrasil representation in their living room, and no fundie ever complaints. Even the Nativity Scene is filled with Pagan symbolism.

  16. @ G

    My girlfriend on that note wants to update the nativity into a "manlyness cresh"

    I can verify she wants Jamie Hynamin to be in the place of one of the wisemen.

    Colbert is Marry.

  17. @Thomas

    My God...Christmas would be so much better if Santa had tiny little gnomes running around with yiddish accents!

  18. Tonight, my wife and I saw some Christmas adverts for sex phone lines. War on Christmas? More like an orgy on Christmas, judging by what we saw.


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