Friday, December 18, 2009

Sumerians Look On In Confusion As Christian God Creates World

Apparently, God creating the world 6,000 years ago was a big surprise to the ancient civilizations who were already living on it. Or so reports the Onion.

"I do not understand," reads an ancient line of pictographs depicting the sun, the moon, water, and a Sumerian who appears to be scratching his head. "A booming voice is saying, 'Let there be light,' but there is already light. It is saying, 'Let the earth bring forth grass,' but I am already standing on grass."

"Everything is here already," the pictograph continues. "We do not need more stars."


  1. After which the Sumerians said a prayer to their god Ninkasi, the Goddess of Beer. And they prayed to her thus:

    "It is you who pour the filtered beer out of the collector vat; it is like the onrush of the Tigris and the Euphrates. Ninkasi, it is you who pour out the filtered beer out of the collector vat; it is like the onrush of the Tigris and the Euphrates."

    Amen and Hallelujah
    This is a god I can relate to.

  2. Obviously G-d intended for those ancient heathens to have false memories of living on an older planet, so that their puny mortal minds were not exposed to the act of creation or its after-effects.

    Was 'The Onion' under the impression that history or archeology could refute the intuitive feelings of humans?

  3. God has supposedly been around so long that it is not surprising that the Alzheimer's is setting in. It might help explain his actions in the Bible.

    The multiverse must be real if god can't remember making the universe and keeps making more.

  4. Really awesome video from AronRa related to this.

  5. I posted this article on Ray Comfort's blog.

    One of his underlings posted back:

    "Actually, Michael, Abraham was a Sumerian. So I'm sure he wasn't surprised at all."

    There is so many things wrong with this comeback, I despair.

    But then, what do I expect from that Den of Dunces.

  6. It's funny, I just posted a link to the following story on my blog less than an hour ago. It talks about a new translation of Genesis that says that Heaven and Earth already existed before God got to work.


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