Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Out of the mouths of blondes

The extremist far-right wackaloons good and godly people in the loving Christian community of lovingful loving loveness figured out a while back that their message of hate, hypocrisy and ignorance love and apple-pie decency was a much easier sell when it came from the mouths of photogenic blondes. Hence their embrace of Miss California pageant winner Carrie Prejean, who made evangelicals around the country cream their prejeans when she spoke publicly against marriage equality.

Now, I'm the last guy anyone would accuse of political correctness — okay, scratch that, I'm entirely sure I'm far from the last guy there, as I suspect just about everyone on the right is significantly more disdainful of the practice than I am. Anyway, where I was going with this is that I think beauty pageants are teh stoopid, if for no other reason than their smug duplicitousness. I mean, come on, they parade chicks around in bathing suits while at the same time expecting them to maintain an alabaster-goddess image of unrealistic virginal purity. The average porn movie and topless bar is, if nothing else, at least honest about its agenda of prurient objectification!

Which is why it's so hilarious that some of the same evangelicals who've pounced on Prejean to be their hot homophobia cover girl are wondering if they need to back off now that a couple of totally G-rated glamour shots of her have — inevitably — turned up. Again, what's funny here? That topless photos featuring a consenting adult woman are fine; it's the hypocrisy of the pageant's "it's only okay to display women as sexmeat when we do it" attitude that's risible and asinine.

For her own part, Prejean is responding to her recent publicity, criticisms of her homophobia, and the possibility she may lose her title because of these pictures, in the expected fashion: by playing the Christian Persecution Card.

"I am a Christian, and I am a model," she said. "Models pose for pictures, including lingerie and swimwear photos."

She said the photos "have been released surreptitiously to a tabloid Web site that openly mocks me for my Christian faith."

"I am not perfect, and I will never claim to be," she said. "But these attacks on me and others who speak in defense of traditional marriage are intolerant and offensive. [Emphasis added.] While we may not agree on every issue, we should show respect for others' opinions and not try to silence them through vicious and mean-spirited attacks."

I just love it every time a vocal bigot (regardless of whether or not she's blonde and hot, thank you) calls anyone else "intolerant." I mean, that's not only rich, rich irony. It's a double-deluxe extra-chocolate fudge and cherry syrup level of richness. And we'll not even get started on the plea for "respect" from someone who thinks her Bronze Age beliefs entitle her to deny millions of people she doesn't know and whose lives will never impact hers the right to enter into loving, committed relationships.

Anyway, it's just another example of the sort of uncontrolled clusterfuck that erupts whenever evangelicals make absurd spectacles of themselves. Personally, Carrie, you should have stuck with topless modeling. I promise you, you'd be in a lot better company.


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  2. My God...do we still hold those stupid competitions? I sincerely was hoping against hope they only showed up in movies and that it was phased out like other disgraceful fads of the 80s.

    Also am I odd in that I find personality and intelligence to be a main contender when deciding a sexual mate? Honestly, since I couldn't stand spending a day with Miss USA I wouldn't do her with mr. freethinker's dick.

  3. I noticed on quite a few websites I visit that the National Organization for Marriage has bought up ad space.

    I first saw it on a few YouTube videos.

    Then ever more strange, I saw them on Gamespot forums.

    They all seem to follow the format of "Help me! My right to bash the gays is being violated."

  4. I foolishly tried perusing a few of the comments in the linked articles and holy shit... the stupid! It burns! Ze goggles do nothing!

    It's times like this I'm so glad I live under a proverbial rock with a pre-'92 record collection and haven't heard the words 'beauty pageant' until I read this entry.

  5. I envy Ms. Prejean's ability to achive nuclear level irony with little effort.

    I mean, "I'm such a christian that I must deny civil rights to others, but I don't pay any attention to the portions of the bible that demand modesty" combined with "how dare you call me on it!"?

    That's just awesome.

  6. Have they ever explained what they are defending marriage from? Do they think marriage is a mrketplace where the value drops when more people do it? Maybe the value rises because there's more demand? Is the supply limited, and why? What's their theory?

    Boy am I ever glad that the worst these ludicrous people do in my state in Germany is whimper in protest when the gov't decides to flag the rainbow at the city hall on CSD. Ooooh the unfair privilege of teh gay agenda.

  7. @felix
    Maybe this country needs a couple years of nazi-level super right-wingedness to bounce back from, sprining us over to the other side... oh right, that just happened. If these loonies are already acting like this, I can't wait to see how they act as we liberalize even more as these policies we are implementing show demonstrable payoff.

  8. Felix, it's like they have a zero-sum view of marriage. Allowing same-sex marriage somehow devalues those of us straight people who are happily married. As a happily married straight person myself, I just don't see it.

    And if these people believe they are entitled the right to deny others the right to marry via ballot initiatives, then how about we get to vote whether celebrities and politicians who have previously been divorced get to marry again? Why is it okay if Rush Limbaugh decides to get married for the fourth time, but a same-sex couple that has been in a monogamous relationship for years cannot?

  9. I remember seeing pictures of Sara Palin in her beauty contest days. Boy, I wish someone would put all this together in some nice Christian mashup soft porn.

  10. Yep, even The Almighty has had to resort to sex to get His People in charge of the rest of the world......

    But I still have yet to hear a real justification for restricting marriage to "one man and one woman". All I've heard so far is "we don't want to encourage them faggots and lesbos" and nonsense about how it'll somehow destroy our society.

    I've never heard any substantive argument that showed how it could possibly impact the institution of marraige at all.

    An acquaintance of mine from TX is a homophobe and very anti-gay marraige. I've asked him multiple times about how it'd hurt and never got a straight answer other than he simply doesn't like homosexuals.


  11. In other related but more positive news, Maine has become the FIFTH state to allow gay marriage. How's that for a massive "Take That" against the bigots?

    If hypocrites like religious authorities and this ridiculous woman can be thanked for anything, it's that the depth of their laughable and utterly flawed prejudice and stupidity only seemingly serves to inspire more people to say that enough is enough and to grant the civil rights that gay people deserve.

  12. That news made me positively angry. I think Martin was eloquent enough, nothing more to say about it. I am glad you mentioned it here.

  13. One of my friends attempted a non-religious explanation for being against gay marriage. Apparently it killed off the Spartans.

    I argued that Athens, Thebes, and depending on the era Japan, thrived with institutionalized homosexuality. And that Sparta had WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more problems with their society than just lack of reproduction. ....Also it's not like we can't afford to slow down our population growth a bit

  14. I still don't get how if the old covenant isn't valid according to Christians (implying God changes the nature of morality randomly) WTF is homosexuality still a sin while shrimp is ok? On that note...why would a god even make a world with SHRIMP if they're so unclean!?

  15. Ing said...WTF is homosexuality still a sin while shrimp is ok? On that note...why would a god even make a world with SHRIMP if they're so unclean!?Because Jesus rewrote the old laws.

    Jesus said..."It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a man, but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man" (Mt. 15:11)This is their typical justification. Since at this point in any 'conversation' with one of them, all you really want is for it to be over, suggest that this also allows penises in mouths. Any argument about penises having to leave mouths should be equated with throwing up after eating shellfish.

    I should ask, since this is my first post, am I allowed to be crude or should I self-censor?

  16. That still doesn't answer the question of why a god would make a food delicious yet spiritually unclean for seemingly no good reason!?


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