Hypothetical nondenominational new agey theist caller: "Don't you understand, God is the energy in the universe."
Russell: "Do you measure him in joules or calories?"
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Came up with a one-liner, now I'm just waiting for an opportunity
Posted by: Unknown
Labels: counter-apologetics, humor
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Now I'm waiting for an opportunity to use that one. That's awesome!ReplyDelete
Oh sure, go ahead and blame the joules.ReplyDelete
You know what they say about empty calories.ReplyDelete
reminds me of an episode the Skeptoid podcast did on New Age "energy."ReplyDelete
channel lox wrote:ReplyDelete
Uh, that's power. How about this:
Good one. In the meantime, maybe I'll start worshipping the pasta I'll have tonight. Transsubstantiation is now clear to me.ReplyDelete
Does that mean God is responsible for our current energy crisis?ReplyDelete
I came up with another retort: "If God is the energy in the universe, does that mean that the Devil is dark energy?"ReplyDelete
Russell: "Do you measure him in joules or calories?"ReplyDelete
More to the point; Do you measure it at all?
Is that kinetic energy or potential energy?ReplyDelete
After recently looking at the bible if you were to convert that god energy to matter, all you would get would be a turd.ReplyDelete
How can people believe in this crap?
Hypothetical Caller: God is loveReplyDelete
Tom: So, I can't give you any money. It's illegal to pay for love.
I prefer SI units, so joules it is.ReplyDelete
If I recall correctly, the net energy of the universe is 0. Therefore God is nothing.ReplyDelete
What kind of pasta is it??? And can it fly???
Great retort! Although I now harbor a suspicion that some 'prank' callers will attempt to actually use that hypothetical claim just to hear you say it.ReplyDelete
I think they should ban praying in public pools, then. No one would want to get electrocuted like that.ReplyDelete
Despite the fact that I was pulling for UT this evening in the national championship game, I couldn't help but pass this one up...ReplyDelete
I guess colt mccoy _really_ is second!
"I think they should ban praying in public pools, then. No one would want to get electrocuted like that."ReplyDelete
Deus volt, eh?
(YES! Yes, I actually made that joke. I regret nothing.)
@darren-No, but it can stick to the wall when al dente. Hey, I think I've got my trinity: raw, al dente and cooked.ReplyDelete
If God is energy, then the Flying Spaghetti Monster is surely the one true god. Hallelujah!
I have an Erg...ReplyDelete
Awesome, a god which grows more impotent over time. That second law of thermodynamics is a bitch.ReplyDelete
That is actually fairly significant. You can get a decent amount of work harnessed by combusting fecal matter.
@Ing-Are you saying that God is full of shit? Or shit is full of God?ReplyDelete
I had gnocchi tonight. Is God in there too? And does transsubstantiation work with beer as well as with wine?
@Watoosh: "I came up with another retort: "If God is the energy in the universe, does that mean that the Devil is dark energy?""ReplyDelete
Well, since Dark Energy outweighs everything else in the Universe, at least that would answer the problem of evil.
"beer as well as with wine?"ReplyDelete
That depends on whether the transub phenomena is contingent on alcohol or grapes. Either way more study is needed.