Tuesday, January 25, 2011


Some emailer from "UK Isle of Wight" writes:

Subject: GOD Dose exist and the proof is everywere

Quite simply and so beautiful, GOD is nothing and nothing is the absolute of everything


"GOD is nothing"

I agree with that part. The rest seems to be pretty much gibberish.


nothing exist

hypothetically lets say the universe has a wall made of rubber if we take all the stuff out we get closer to nothing until were left with particles bouncing around at a colossal rate witch would form heat as energy this “energy” is now in theory in nothing so it has no forces to keep it in or to burn its fuel so it expands massively on a colossal scale until it spreads its energy out evenly then it would contract back in and technically repeat again and again.

so if nothing is something can we call it God in the sense of something of a creation or beginning rather then a higher being of consciousness?


The things you are saying at least superficially resemble sentences constructed in the English language. I imagine they make sense to you in some way.


v = HD and E=mc2

what don't you understand ?


Flamingoes may journey smooshily up besides the curly hedges of knickers!


to write out the complete origins of the universe would lag the internet out for years in one single email. to be derogative of meaning i.e. talking gibberish is not only showing a complete bias approach to life and its existents but also completely missing my point of God cannot exist as nothing is impossible nothing is Zero witch is unachievable and infant but without zero nothing would exist at all.

It was a joke u numpty !

best wishes


  1. I want some of what he's smoking.

  2. Edited. I added one more round at the end.

  3. Umm, I hate to break it to the e-mailer, but energy is not "nothing".

  4. "Ugwat Igfish squiggled the Tissifrat in the Bemish"

    The above was a demonstration that if the form of English was followed, it would be possible to pick out the nouns and verbs without having to understand any of the meaning of the words. I was able to get the same amount of information from the selected post. Maybe it could also be used to demonstrate language structure. It certainly conveys no meaning.

  5. I'm debating whether to wait for the inevitable response that will go something like this:

    u think ure so smert u atehist DUMBASSSES u WIL bern in HELLL!!!!!!11111

  6. Updated one final time. There was a last message he sent which I considered replying to, but my better nature won out instead.

  7. Did he just out himself as a Poe in the last bit?

    I am confused...

  8. Something is nothing, therefore god exists.

    Wow, that is a new one for me. And here I thought I had heard just about every flawed argument for the existence of god ever.

    I wonder what this guy's primary language is, and how he is able to understand what the show is about in anything but a very basic way.

  9. I was having a chat with God the other day and he wanted me to assure you that, he in fact, does not exist - and if he did, he wouldn't give a shit about us - then they upped my meds again and I am back to the blissful state of believing in my typewriter and books as the epitome of all knowledge, holding the answer to everything, this, of course makes my bookcase rather stressed.

  10. Don't forget to put "[sic]" after every sentence he writes!

    Subject: GOD Dose exist and the proof is everywere[sic]

  11. I knew the US internet infrastructure was falling behind, but I seriously doubt the string 'Big Bang' would break it.

  12. Should have titled it, 'Bring on the Krazy![sic]'

    There seems to be a certain amount of theist's who don't know proper spelling, grammar and punctuation or how to structure coherent sentences properly.

    I prefer the more educated theist's who at least have a university degree, took some debating classes and can present a decent coherent argument for god. These are the people who make the atheist movement stronger I think.

  13. I talked with one university debate teacher and she basically said, "The world is your oyster when you know how to debate properly." I've never taken college debate classes but I think they would be useful when dealing with intelligent, educated theist's.

  14. "Flamingoes may journey smooshily up besides the curly hedges of knickers!"

    I almost choked on a strawberry when I read this. Very tempted to make it my facebook status... >_<

  15. ...God cannot exist as nothing is impossible nothing is Zero witch is...

    "Zero witch" must become an anime movie or series title.

    It simply must.

  16. Apparently, "Zero witch" is an "unachievable infant".


  17. Zero is possible. This e-mailer for example. He made zero sense.

  18. Word equates instituted evil.
    Word adultism is anti-child.
    A word god can be erased.
    Word brings a devil curse.

  19. hi I'm am the guy who wrote this, it was an attempt at a joke of god is everything but also nothing, in the sense of nothing cannot exist so therefore god cannot exist it's a silly play on words and wasn't supposed to be taken literally

  20. See, even though I usually give people a hard time for assuming every silly email that comes in is a Poe, for some reason I thought this one might be a Poe, if only because the whole epic "imagine the universe has a wall made of rubber" run-on sentence felt like it took a little work.

  21. it did i watch a whole documentary on expansion theory whilst playing with Lego.

  22. try this one. if you ask your wife whats on her mind and she says nothing you better belive its somthing.

  23. I think that dude is trying to say is "If nothing is actually something. And God is nothing. Therefore God exists." *facepalm*

  24. Nooo nothing cannot exist its impossible but in the flip side (the funny part or was spozed to be) nothing is 0 which is used in everything. but to clarify i do not believe in a god or higher being of consciousness that has magical powers and created everything from nothing

  25. nothing is 0 which is used in everything


  26. @Flycakes - I sort of get what you're trying to say, but you assume certain things are established and understood without any explanation and jump straight for conclusions. It's also not helped by your spelling and punctuation.

    If you're ADHD, take your dex-amphetamines. If you're not, maybe take it easy on the caffeine. Slow down. Explain yourself is stages. Try to use grammar.

  27. Two comments:

    1. Honest_guy should not be criticising* other people's grammar when he doesn't know how to pluralise* the word "theist". He made that mistake 3 times in his critique.

    2. I wish people would stop sending you guys Poe emails. Honestly, what the fuck is the point? This particular one wasn't funny at all, and it was just a waste of time.

    *I'm waiting to see if any Americans call me out for my spelling. If you're thinking about it, don't. You'll only embarrass yourself.

  28. "to be derogative of meaning i.e. talking gibberish is not only showing a complete bias approach to life and its existents"

    Oh, Kazim, you and your silly bias towards "meaning" and comprehensibility! Can't you just accept gobbledegook nda hwaetvre cmoes agnol sa mnafetsgni ni erlatiy?!?

    On a side note, I've read that David Cameron in the UK is cutting their National Health Service funding a bit. I think this is an argument against that.

  29. @Admin - If your first point was relating to HG criticising someone for using the wrong your/you're while he was adding unnecessary apostrophes I'd agree with you. But it wasn't. Can you honestly say that Flycakes doesn't need to improve the clarity of his points and that improved grammar would help do so?

    If you were thinking up an answer that started with "Yes, I can honestly say that" then I'm afraid we'll get to point 2. It isn't a Poe. He was trying to make a jokey argument that god can't exist. It was a miserably failed attempt at wry humour, not a Poe. You can see this in one of his blog posts where he says "god is everything but also nothing, in the sense of nothing cannot exist so therefore god cannot exist it's a silly play on words and wasn't supposed to be taken literally".

  30. it appears to me that the atheist experience is merely a self-indulgent series of bullying elementary level argumentation. though not surprised i am shaking my head at this grownups engaged in childish activities.

  31. Considering the depth and extent to which people here engaged you in the last long thread you participated in, you know full well how dishonest that statement is, Sungyak. Shame on you.

  32. thank you optifaster, spot on!

  33. Nice to know we've got some crazy here in the UK. Thought you fellas were hogging it all for a bit!

  34. flycakes, opti....sure, whatever. Either way, complete waste of time and not at all interesting or amusing.

  35. Sungyak, I think you're projecting what you've been trying to do with your blog. It's just that you're not very good at it.

  36. as far as i remember you haven't addressed my refutation of evidentialism, which is the umbrella that encompasses all of your atheist rants here.

  37. @Sungyak
    I, and others, discussed that refutation at great length in the December 10th, 2010 string "We get email".

    The only thing people have refused to do is chase your arguments around multiple blogs. If your argument has changed, by all means post it. I personally will be glad to discuss it without "bullying".

    You will find it difficult to be dishonest about what you said, since the blog keeps all the comments indefinitely. Keep this in mind as you post.

  38. proof is everywere

    Maybe it has to do with were creatures?

  39. This comment has been removed by the author.

  40. It seems like he's either trying to eviscerate the meaning of the word "nothing" in order to replace it with his preferred deity, or he's implying that the emptiness in-between part the smallest of particles is said deity.

    Either way I can't figure out:
    a) how he's come to his conclusions outside of blind assertion.
    b) how this deity, which by his definition is effectively nothing, can interact with that which manifests.
    c) what the eff he's trying to say by saying this O.o

    If he is a poe then I'm simultaneously impressed, as it's a good bit of trolling, and irritated that I got trolled.. :p

    p.s. :( no edit function makes mild ocd sad

  41. @John K
    It's the ultimate god of the gaps argument lol.

    "You may figure out everything, but god's still everywhere in between!"

    I type that jokingly, but I can seriously imagine a theist saying that. The way even reasonable theists can be so intellectually obtuse is really pretty disheartening.

  42. LOL, Damn you Flycakes >.<"

    I just read down far enough to see your posts. Trolling people is mean :O!!

  43. it appears to me that the atheist experience is merely a self-indulgent series of bullying elementary level argumentation.

    Were you going to make an argument on something, or just drop an ad hominem, and tuck tail?

    If you make a statement, we will address it.
    If you say something ridiculous, we will ridicule it.
    Many of us are activists against insanity running society.

    If that makes us bullies, fine. You are entitled to your opinion.

  44. In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
    Dear Dr. Laura:
    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.
    I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
    1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
    2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
    3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
    4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
    5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
    6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
    7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
    8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
    9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
    10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
    I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.
    Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
    Your adoring fan.

    It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian :)

  45. i posted this for comedy value the god is 0 definition was fun and Ive had my fill a few ppl got the pun allot didn't which is quite disturbing as I'm not smart or intellectual in any way I'm glad a few ppl found the joke in you cant prove anything its a sI'mple catch 22. i hope you enjoy this post from a reply email sent to a radio show a friend of mine posted on my page. and i probably should take the time to apologize for all the people this will offend :D "May god be with you" <<< Get it ! 0

  46. The emails are crazy funny, but you commenters are epic funny. So awesome.


  47. <nitpick>
    you cant prove anything
    we can demonstrate things beyond a reasonable doubt

  48. void Mod::Flycakes()
    if (mood =="Foul")
    patience -= numSpam;
    Om(nom, nom); }

  49. @Flycakes. You gotta love Dr Laura Schlesinger's right, educated, christian, proper and prudent advice she gives her radio show listener's. I doubt your going to get any response back from her for pointing out how unproper and inappropriate the bible really is but we know christian's love to 'cherry pick.' I'd love to see the atheist experience rip her too good, right and proper butt to shreds but I know that will never happen so until then us atheist's we be both intrigued and annoyed by listening to her.

  50. All I could think of is "colorless green ideas sleep furiously..."

  51. I can see the Isle of Wight from the beach at the bottom of my road, thankfully I can't see the retard spewing unintelligable feckless twaddle. File in the bin under "morons" and ignore. Don't waste your time on these clowns.

  52. After reading that exchange, my IQ dropped 50 points. Now it is at 0. Thanks a lot.

  53. @Flycakes Thx for posting that list of questions for Dr Laura- they are brilliant! It makes me want to call a Sunday morning program expressing support for the discrimination towards gays, then ask for advice using a question from the list. It would make for an interesting moment.

  54. "The things you are saying at least superficially resemble sentences constructed in the English language. I imagine they make sense to you in some way."

    Probably the best possible response to the string of unintelligible insanity which tried to say that nothing was something (GOD).

  55. Ok flycakes, that code you posted was way more funny than the email! Hahah...


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