Wednesday, June 01, 2011

We get email

The Atheist Experience audience has made me extremely paranoid, since it is a virtual guarantee that every single theist caller or commenter who expresses their two cents will be called a Poe by somebody. To listen to them talk, you'd think that there is not a single True Christian to be found anywhere in the world, while the hills are teeming with atheists wearing jester caps who are keeping up a massive worldwide conspiracy to make you think that most people believe in God.

Even so, this email really takes the cake, so can you blame me for being a bit suspicious?

Subject: Please Read. Excuse my typos. This is what God spoke to me about personally. Heres my phone number , please call me anytime. [phone number redacted]

The Begining/Origin of Sin
Angels in heaven communicate using a different form of communication.
While speaking the celestial language,the form(the phonological or
orthographic sound or appearance of a word)of pronunciation, they
spoke in harmonys and understand eachother in harmony.They were
congruent with one another. Lucifer, Spoke in a very distinct harmony.
His language was not any different, but he regarded it with wonder
and delight. We become individuals do to the pace and speed in which
we process an idea or thought. Vision is a secondary form of sound; a
visable aspect whether inferior or superior, the apearence of sound.
In the celestial city, we are able to see at the sight of sound(Romans
10:17;So faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of
Christ).Sound and vision travel at the speed of light, light bieng the
condition of perfect awareness which is translated or restated in our
realm as a form of energy. Lucifer was created perfect. Lucifer brung
into existance the first contradiction by convincing himself that the
speed in which he processed a thought was superior to all other angels
and brung into existance this idea, that the quantity fulfilling his
desire to contradict God by bringing such a thought into existance was
sufficient and enough to lead(take, carry out, replace) all others.
This idea is the origin of sin, and how it became extant. How can he
speak a perfect language and still confuse and attempt to convince
others against God? Lucifer gave a secondary definition to every word
he came across while attempting to nullify the barrier and extent of
knowing given to him by God which was spoken in the celestial city.
Angels were given ideal structure that impedes greater extent of
knowing. Created to worship, and praise God Almighty knowing of
nothing more, never under an unsatisfied state. Prefixes were made by
lucifer, found in over 6900 languages in the world, they give a
secondary definition. By presenting all the content of his newly
created cognition which apeared to be orginized he convinced a portion
of the angels of God to turn against the creator and originator
Himself, figuratively assuming he will reach a perfect state of
imperfection, creating choices in the way we regard situations or
topics, presenting perspectives, placing in our surrounding the option
of his false wisdom. We perfectly make decisions, we accept
imperfection by choice. Musical compositions that do not worship God
Almighty become the voice of the beast which speaks a language that
ravels and convinces to turn against God and steadily keeps the soul

The Conscience
Genesis Chapt. 1 Genesis Chapt. 2
Create Form
Male/Female Man/Woman
Angels(Perfect Word) Demons(Demonstration
of what not to act in)
Good(Beneficial for ones salvation) Bad(To be against,
contradict that which saves)
Right Wrong
Spirit Flesh
1st Corinthians 15:47
The FIRST man(Flesh,wrong doing) is earthly.The SECOND man is heavenly(Spirit)
Genesis Chapt 2:4
These are the generations/origins/account/
period) of the heavens and the earth when they were CREATED. In THE
DAY that JEHOVA God MADE earth and heaven.
"The Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit/ Satan, The Beast, The
False Prophet"
"For the mind of the flesh is death, but the mind of the
Spirit is life"
"the body is dead because of sin, but the spirit is alive because of
"But indeed, O MAN, who are you to reply against God?"
"Will the thing formed ask him who formed it"
"That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of
the Spirit is spirit"
"For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh;
but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit."
"Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are [these]; Adultery,
fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,"

Ask yourself, Why would God contradict himself? Genesis 6:6
"And it repented the Lord God that he had made man on the earth, and
it grieved him at his heart"? God "created" something He regrets
making? That would make Him imperfect! Jeremiah 26:13 "The Lord
repented him of the evil which he had pronounced against them." Exodus
32:14 "And the Lord God repented of the evil which he thought to do
unto his people." Impossible. Lucifer does not dress in black, He is
beautiful, and tries not to be LIKE God, but to be God himself. The
speed in which he processed any of his thoughts were created favorably
and delt with distinctively. These anthropopathic verses were inspired
NOT by God, but have been interpreted by a faulty mind over the years
and have changed and has given a different significance to the
original meaning/definition. Our insignificance doesnt allow us to
accept that because we have been clothed with this flesh, a formation
of the enemy, it is not possible for the enemy to "create" anything or
any sort.

I reply:


Please forgive me, all the Bible quotes made my eyes glaze over and I couldn't read your message thoroughly enough to see if you were serious.

You see, we get self-styled comedians writing in all the time, atheists who think it would be funny to imitate a crazy person who claims to personally speak with God. Unfortunately, "Poe's Law" very much holds true in the sense that you cannot fake the crazy so strongly that you can't be taken seriously. Hence, if you're trying to be funny, the humor is being lost on your audience.

With that in mind, would you be so kind as to tell me whether you're just pretending to be a crazy person who talks to god, or you're the real deal?

He replies:

Excuse me? How faulty can your way of reasoning be! You think I'm kidding around with you? A JOKE? Please read what I wrote, that's is absolutely nothing more than my attempt to understand what Love has spoken to me. What I say is in no way a joke..

I think we got ourselves a genuine loon here, but I'm sure the Poe Theorists among you will be eager to disagree.


  1. It's interesting to note that another way to see the sight of sound is to smoke a lot of weed.

  2. Wow... I tried to read that, but it's just so... blech. From the part I read, it seems like he's saying that most of the words we have today are of the devil.

    Whether or not he's really trying to convey his thoughts or just playing a practical "joke", he needs to make them more clear.

    I don't have the interest in rereading his message unless a discussion of it starts up in the comments.

    As for whether or not he got all of this straight from the mouth of "God"; I doubt it.

  3. Well, that's the whole point of a Poe, isn't it? You literally can't tell is someone is full of crap or not unless they choose to tell you. You could say "too long/elaborate to be a joke" but that could be a feint, part of the Poe strategy.

    Plus, you know... Time Cube.

  4. Kazim,

    See to me there's a pretty clear difference between you're average, run of the mill, theist-style crazy (as in: "The earth was created 6 thousand years ago in 6 days!") and certafiable 100% batshit crazy crazy. (as in: "Sound and vision travel at the speed of light, light bieng the condition of perfect awareness which is translated or restated in our
    realm as a form of energy.")

    Both kinds take themselves seriously (whilst neither being a poe) but one just needs a healthy dose of critical thinking and the other needs medication.

    With a poe, to me - there's a certain motivation behind it that you can usually sense. If they're a true poe, what they say can be taken in a sarcastic or ironic way. Maybe it's subtle, maybe not so much. If they don't include that element of irony or sarcasm, then I assume they're not a poe (though they could be just pranking or trolling - but pranksters USUALLY make it pretty obvious pretty quickly)

  5. It's been pointed out before, but it really does seem to be true: people with actual, diagnosable and treatable mental disorders can easily "hide" themselves by adopting religious language and imagery. A person who wrote an essay like the above about the transcendent beauty of zebras would be asked to seek help. A person who talks about the voices that tell them to tie red ribbons up on trees is assumed to be mentally ill.

    But someone who goes on for pages about the "voice of the beast" and states that "God could never contradict himself" is probably held to be holy, even divinely inspired in his religious community. This is not the voice of God you're hearing friend. And the religious nature of your delusion is keeping those around you from recommending treatment.

  6. I'm not going to even bother reading this piece of insanity. I stopped at 'this is what god told me personally'.

    He's insane or he's trolling, either way reading on is a waste of our time.

  7. Why couldn't Jesus have had some parable about using paragraphs?

  8. Argh...I wrote a long reply then lost it. Hate that.

    Anyways, summarized version is that I think this person is genuine. Despite rambling word salad style (which I usually do my best to read through and actually try to get to what the person is saying, because you don't know what their language background is and it's not always fair to judge them based on syntax, spelling, etc.), the crazy ideas about magic creation words and so on are basically the standard monotheistic beliefs, and are similar to many other cultures' creation myths (see Genesis 1 for one example).

    I also couldn't help but notice the many similarities to the creation myth in J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion. Substitute Eru Ilúvatar, Melkor, and Ainur for God, Lucifer, and Angels, and it's basically the same story. That's not surprising since Tolkien often imitated the religious stories and myths that he spent his career studying. Of course, Tolkien's version, even though it's one of the least accessible of his works, is still lightyears (or should that be soundyears?) ahead of this loon when it comes to coherency.

  9. If that piece was written by a poe then they have more issues than most bible bashers.

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. Let's see..

    Word Salad...check
    Disjointed Bible Hopscotch...check
    Utter lack of paragraphs...check.

    What we have here is a genuine kook

  12. This man is a Heretic!

    The truly faithful know that suffixes, not prefixes, are the work of the Devil, as is the semicolon.

  13. I couldn't get through the whole thing. The beginning of the mail did remind me a bit of the Silmarillion from Tolkien...

    However, speculating about someone being a poe or not is pointless. You can't find out if they are or not anyway. If someone is so crazy it HAS to be a poe, it is pointless to respond anyway.

  14. If I believed in the devil, I would believe that the semicolon is his bastard offspring. They are transvestite hermaphrodites that stand for nothing, to paraphrase Kurt Vonnegut ( I'd rather have a good, solid period any day of the week.

  15. I'm really glad you took that one Russell.

  16. I think genuine. There's a special kind of gibber that only the truly crazy can manage -- attempts to imitate it usually feel constructed -- and it seems to be present here.

  17. Please email them back encouraging them to seek professional help.

  18. "In the celestial city, we are able to see at the sight of sound"

    "Talk and song from tongues of lilting grace, whose sounds caress my ear
    But not a word I heard could I relate, the story was quite clear"
    -Led Zeppelin, Kashmir

    I get it now, his diatribe is supposed to be set to music!

  19. Regarding insanity,as the saying go's. There are more out than in.(meaning:- more living in society than are locked up)
    It has often been said but is well worth repeating that if one person has an outlandish crazy sounding world view they might well be considered insane.
    But if that person can convince enough people to say that they believe it too.
    Then the crazy world view can be called a legitimate religion.
    I can't tell if this person is for real.Assuming he is i think he might be a good example of the sort of person who started all the mainstream religions of today.
    Those Bronze age loonies who probably,spent their mornings molesting live stock.And the afternoons playing with their own excrement.While all the time listening to the voices in their heads.Were the authors of the ideas in the Bible.

  20. "Prefixes were made by lucifer, found in over 6900 languages in the world"

    I dont know, I would think that a poe couldn't resist saying "over 9000 languages"

    On the other hand, I would think the reply email of a genuine kook would contain more baseless weird ass assertions mixed in with hate filled accusations of close-mindedness/conspiracy, as opposed to them just saying to re-read the original email.

  21. I can guarantee all you that I'm a genuine theist.

  22. @Anna Bucci
    Welcome to the Blog.
    I am sure people here would love to know what kind of Theist you are.
    I'm hoping not Christian because frankly thats been done to death.

  23. TC;CR

    (Too crazy; couldnt read)

    As others have said, this really didnt give off too many Poe vibes to me, but that made me sad.

    Its also possible that Anna might be the person who wrote it, if so I would certainly like to know why you believe that it was god telling you these things rather than satan? Cos it certainly sounds like something satan would say to me.

  24. I agree. The appropriate response is definitely:


  25. Anna is wearing a Thor's hammer pendant and a World of Warcraft t-shirt on her profile pic.

    From Anna's blog:
    Heathenism is a form of Germanic Neo-Paganism. There are many kinds of heathen beliefs and traditions. I will attempt to show the ones I hold.

    My religion is called Fyrnsidu. It is Old English(OE) for “Ancient Custom”. I try to bring back these ancient traditions and customs(OE théawas) to my modern life; this is done through cooking old recipes, old craft ways(knitting, spinning, sewing, etc), seasonal customs, traditional values, and viewing life through a heathen worldview.

  26. "Sound and vision travel at the speed of light..." ??
    If this god doesn't know the speed of sound is different from the speed of light, I don't want to have anything to do with him.

  27. I did manage to read it, though very little of it seems to be understandable. From what I can glean from it, it seems this person believes many of the common things that theists believe, but attempted to make sense of it all through some drug-induced or sleep-deprived rambling story.

    So from what I can tell - Satan basically created spoken language as we know it. Especially the prefixes... oh yes, the prefixes. Spawn of Satan. Anywho, it's interesting to me to note that he believes that Lucifer was created perfect, and yet managed to make himself imperfect. I love it when theists pull that one - oh everything was perfect in the beginning, but then somebody went and screwed it up. I've never understood how they can believe that perfection can become imperfection. And apparently the Bible is true, except for the parts that are contradictions, which are obviously lies from Satan.

    This guy has no basis and no foundation from which to examine anything, save for his own whims and interpretations. And sadly I vote for "not a Poe."

  28. @Felix
    Thats very interesting i wonder what people who wish to spread the word of Heathenism, are called?
    Heathvangelists perhaps.

  29. What a loon! It's basic physics that sound doesn't travel at the speed of light!

  30. To be fair, He/She seems to be speaking of the speed of sound in the Celestial City. Sound travels at different speeds in different mediums. perhaps the atmosphere in this Celestial City transmits sound at the speed of light. No, seriously, stop laughing.

  31. @tondeb thanks for the welcome, although I posted here before. And no I'm not christian.

  32. @Truckle lol, no I didn't write it. I didn't even read it(tldr).

  33. @Felix I'm not wearing a Thor's hammer pendant in my photo, but you're right about the shirt. My pendant is an Eormensyl(Irminsul).

  34. "See to me there's a pretty clear difference between you're average, run of the mill, theist-style crazy (as in: "The earth was created 6 thousand years ago in 6 days!") and certafiable 100% batshit crazy crazy. (as in: "Sound and vision travel at the speed of light, light bieng the condition of perfect awareness which is translated or restated in our
    realm as a form of energy.")"

    They're both equally batshit, one is just worded coherently while the other isn't.

  35. I think I'm way behind the curve here, but do you say "We get email" in reference to All Your Base?

    If so, that's funny.
    If not, it's still funny.

    Main screen turn on.

  36. Seems like a clear case of GOATS ON FIRE!! syndrome to me.

  37. Good to see I wasn't the only one who got the Tolkien vibe off that thing.

    It's also a theme in the rpg 'In Nomine', origially French but published by SJ Games - with whom I believe at least one AETV host would be familiar.

  38. Whoa! I tried to read it, honest I did, but when someone starts off making extraordinary claims without a shred of explanation why or how they are the chosen one to be blessed with this gift of enlightenment, I start remembering how my father stuffed me into a rocket and sent me to Earth from Krypton... landed in Brandon, Ms...finally figured "fuck 'em, why should I save all these batshit idiots. I'll wait for 2012 and laugh while they all die from their own ignorance, then fly to Mars till the dust settles."
    We know there's intelligent life in the Universe, because they stay the fuck away from Earth!


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