Friday, March 30, 2007

It's sacrelicious!

Man, and I thought Piss Christ was funny! A Manhattan art gallery has begun displaying a life-sized statue of a nude, crucified Jesus made entirely out of 200 pounds of chocolate! Hey, chocolate, Easter — the connection makes sense to me.

Predictably, Catholic League blowhard Bill Donohue has blown a gasket. Thing is, I'm not entirely clear what he's offended by — that Jesus is made out of chocolate, or that he's in the nude (which he most likely would have been had he really been a victim of crucifixion). I know there's a scriptural ban on graven images, but the Catholic church has ignored that one for centuries. So what's a little chocolate hurt?

Well, it could have been worse. Think how livid Donohue would be if the artist had had colored eggs falling out of Jesus's...uh...

Okay, okay, I'll stop. This is a family blog.


  1. And just imagine the uses for all that multicolored cellophane grass....

    What a hoot!

  2. That is the wierd thing, people's reaction to a nude crucifixion. You are entirely correct, people were crucified completely stripped of clothing. Ergo, Jesus was nude on the cross.

    Just mention to a devout believer that Jesus had a penis and watch them go apoplectic with indignation. But for Jesus to have been a human male, he would have had to have a penis (and a fully functional one at that. Whether he used it for its reproductive functions or not, it still had normal biological reactions). And a scrotum with testicles. And an anus, along with all the functional properties of such an orifice. (Another apoplexy-inducer is to mention Jesus going off into the bushes during his travelling ministry to take a whiz or... um... evacuate his bowels.) Also, the Bible itself says Jesus had a penis, because how else could he have been circumcised on the eighth day as required by Jewish religious Law?


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