Hypothetical nondenominational new agey theist caller: "Don't you understand, God is the energy in the universe."
Russell: "Do you measure him in joules or calories?"
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
27 comments:
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Now I'm waiting for an opportunity to use that one. That's awesome!
ReplyDeleteOh sure, go ahead and blame the joules.
ReplyDeleteRacist!
;)
1.21 gigawatts!
ReplyDeleteYou know what they say about empty calories.
ReplyDeletereminds me of an episode the Skeptoid podcast did on New Age "energy."
ReplyDeletechannel lox wrote:
ReplyDelete"1.21 gigawatts!"
Uh, that's power. How about this:
1.21 gigawatt-hours!
Good one. In the meantime, maybe I'll start worshipping the pasta I'll have tonight. Transsubstantiation is now clear to me.
ReplyDeleteDoes that mean God is responsible for our current energy crisis?
ReplyDeleteI came up with another retort: "If God is the energy in the universe, does that mean that the Devil is dark energy?"
ReplyDeleteRussell: "Do you measure him in joules or calories?"
ReplyDeleteMore to the point; Do you measure it at all?
Is that kinetic energy or potential energy?
ReplyDeleteAfter recently looking at the bible if you were to convert that god energy to matter, all you would get would be a turd.
ReplyDeleteHow can people believe in this crap?
Hypothetical Caller: God is love
ReplyDeleteTom: So, I can't give you any money. It's illegal to pay for love.
I prefer SI units, so joules it is.
ReplyDeleteIf I recall correctly, the net energy of the universe is 0. Therefore God is nothing.
ReplyDeleteGuillaume,
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of pasta is it??? And can it fly???
Great retort! Although I now harbor a suspicion that some 'prank' callers will attempt to actually use that hypothetical claim just to hear you say it.
ReplyDeleteI think they should ban praying in public pools, then. No one would want to get electrocuted like that.
ReplyDeleteDespite the fact that I was pulling for UT this evening in the national championship game, I couldn't help but pass this one up...
ReplyDeleteI guess colt mccoy _really_ is second!
http://www.iamsecond.com/#/seconds/Colt_McCoy/
<whisper>i'm sorry</whisper>
"I think they should ban praying in public pools, then. No one would want to get electrocuted like that."
ReplyDeleteDeus volt, eh?
(YES! Yes, I actually made that joke. I regret nothing.)
@darren-No, but it can stick to the wall when al dente. Hey, I think I've got my trinity: raw, al dente and cooked.
ReplyDeleteIf God is energy, then the Flying Spaghetti Monster is surely the one true god. Hallelujah!
I have an Erg...
ReplyDeleteAwesome, a god which grows more impotent over time. That second law of thermodynamics is a bitch.
ReplyDelete@DavidTC
ReplyDeleteThat is actually fairly significant. You can get a decent amount of work harnessed by combusting fecal matter.
@Ing-Are you saying that God is full of shit? Or shit is full of God?
ReplyDeleteI had gnocchi tonight. Is God in there too? And does transsubstantiation work with beer as well as with wine?
@Watoosh: "I came up with another retort: "If God is the energy in the universe, does that mean that the Devil is dark energy?""
ReplyDeleteWell, since Dark Energy outweighs everything else in the Universe, at least that would answer the problem of evil.
"beer as well as with wine?"
ReplyDeleteThat depends on whether the transub phenomena is contingent on alcohol or grapes. Either way more study is needed.