Tuesday, June 01, 2010

We get email: These are the things I did!

I'm editing this one for length, but here is the choice lunacy. (Remember, this is edited. Weep for us.)

Hello my name is Leroy Blevins Sr. I am C/O of Blevins Biblical Investigation. I have done research on the Bible for over 24 years now and I like to say what people claims the Bible tell us is not what the Bible said.

Like 1 reason why people don't believe in the Bible is that today we have all this different race of people. And with different jeans in man there is no way that all race of man is only from two people in the beginning like Adam and Eve. This is true but people claim that the Bible tells us that all race of man is from these two people for God made all man. But this is only claim made by people for the Bible does not say that all race of man is from one God...

So you see before you can make claims or even try to tell people about God you first need to know what you are talking about. You or no one can say there is no God and you and know one can say the Bible is not true. For you are going on what people add to the Bible and you are not going on what the Bible really tells you. As you have just seen by what I have shown you that what you think and what people claim is not what the Bible said. These are just thinks you and them add to the Bible and claim this is what the Bible said when in fact you and them was lying from the word go. So how can you say the Bible is not true for you don't know nothing about the Bible or what it tells us....

Now we are told that is said in the Bible that Noah and his family was the only people that was save from the flood... Now you or know one can tell me anything about Noah for I know more about Noah then anyone on this earth today and that is a fact. For you see I know what it said in the Bible and I know the true story the Bible tells us. I even know Noah birthday and it is March 1st. Now I know for a fact that know one knows this but me and I found this out by the Bible. For the Bible give Noah birthday but people don't understand the words that are told. But I do.

But I have more proof to show about Noah. And that is the ark itself Yes I know the location of the ark and where you can find it. I have real photos of the ark at rest today.

So you see I have study the Bible. Now let me see if you study the Bible as you claim you did....

Now you don't know me but let me tell you some of the things I did. I have found the location of Noah's ark and even other arks made in the time of Noah. I found the location of the Garden of Eden. I know the true stories of the Bible. I found the start of the real Bigfoot. And I have found away to read the Zodiac Killer letters I debunked the Patterson and Gimlin film of Bigfoot. And my new research I have found two other gun men that was with Oswald in the JFK Assassination. These are the things I did and these are the things I show proof on look me up on the net you will find my research and you will see my proof. For at BBI We not only tell the truth WE SHOW IT.

I will be looking for the answers if you can answer the questions.

Thank you for your time in this matter
Leroy Blevins Sr.

Well, you just can't argue with that, can you? Or even...understand it, especially. But you can, I am sure, be appropriately astonished by Mr. Blevins' research into locating Noah's Ark. Just so you know where to send birthday greetings every March 1.

46 comments:

  1. I stopped at 'jeans.' I can't handle the idiocy.

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  2. It's a miracle. I went to his website, and my brain instantly turned into oatmeal.

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  3. Poor man. Sometimes it's a pity that you can't force people to take neuroleptics.

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  4. Love the appropriate use of Comic Sans (for once).

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  5. I'd laugh, if I didn't know a hundred guys just like him. This is what happens when a culture forgets what it means to think rationally and critically. The sad thing is, he's probably regarded as a hero by the members of his church. His "research" is probably hailed as the final nail in the coffin of secularism. I wish he actually WOULD read that Bible one day. On a related note, now I feel bad because I TOTALLY missed Noah's birthday this year.

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  6. I don't know what to say Martin... I thought this was a Poe when I saw his use of written English, but then... the website...

    ... how do you guys wade through all this stuff?

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  7. That was a pretty awesome read. I love the climax at the end with Bigfoot and JFK.

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  8. March 1 on what calendar? The Gregorian calendar? The Julian calendar? The pre-Julian Roman calendar? The only calendrical system used in the Old Testament is the ancient Hebrew calendar that was a) not fixed and b) doesn't have all the dates pinned down and c) doesn't have March as a month in it anyways. Ugh.

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  9. I dont no what to say but I thinks it impossible to read these Leroy persons email and not loose a few IQ points for know matter how many times I read it I be confused.

    I surely hoping the poor spelling and grama skills do not rub of on me for I would be well upset if these happen.

    And now I have a sudden empulse to proof that Abraham Lincoln was shot by the Loch Ness Monster.

    Innit.

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  10. Lerrroooooooyyy Blevinnss!!!

    Seriously though he lost me at "jeans".

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  11. I have to agree with the author on a key point: the many different kinds of "jeans". Clearly, people who wear button-fly and people who prefer zippers must have come from different parents. And the people who wear jean jackets are another group entirely...

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  12. Just ask him whether anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like? and see what he says...

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  13. I know that his research is not true because I look at his research and know that it is not true because he is not reading from what the bible say. If he knew what the bible say then he would know how I know about what it says and know that I am right.

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  14. Holy crap. It started out fairly routine, someone who claims to have a different interpretation of the bible, then it ends with utter insanity and claims of solving conspiratorial nonsense and crypto-zoological things like bigfoot.

    Grade-A Loonie... Then there's the grammar. Maybe he should have researched English for some of those 24 years; It would be time better spent.

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  15. He had me with "And with different jeans in man"

    I will give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he is referring to the proliferation of Levi's, Wrangler, Calvin Klein and the like. because that makes about as much sense.

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  16. I just received a message like that through youtube. I am really wondering what kind of people write these.

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  17. I think you should go through it and put in "(sic)" wherever you find wrong usage or bad spelling.

    Makes it easier to understand, and shows that you know they are wrong. PLUS when they read it again, they will see all their mistakes.

    Maybe you'll do this.

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  18. I've gone a few rounds with this guy. Martin left out the part where he asked us quiz questions about the Bible and then quickly answered them himself rather than waiting for a response. This is verbatim from the third message:

    What is the Lord God name?
    Answer:Jealous

    How many daughters did Lot have?
    Answer: He had 4 daughters but lost two of them in Sodom with two sons in-laws

    Who made the ark that holds the Commandments?
    Answer: There are two of them one was made by Bez-a-leel and the other one was made by Moses.

    How many years was it from the time of the beginning to the time of Noah's flood?
    Answer: 1661 years from the beginning to the time of the Flood.


    I had informed him that even if we couldn't answer these questions, they could be looked up on Google in a matter of minutes. He said the answers COULDN'T be found with a web search, so I timed myself and found all of the following in under three minutes:

    Name of God
    Lot's daughters
    Ark
    Date of the flood

    Of course all of these answers come not from credible scholarly research, but from apologist crazyland. But that's kind of the point, isn't it? I also helpfully pointed him in the direction of the Star Trek rule, but I doubt it will help.

    Incidentally, the correct answer to "How many years was it from the time of the beginning to the time of Noah's flood?" is "Noah's flood was just a story, you silly guy."

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  19. I think Sparrowhawk's got the right idea. You should have just responded with a link to the Leroy Jenkins video. It's what I would have done.

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  20. I love the whole "Well you didn't REALLY read it, or didn't really understeand what the bible MEANT to say!".

    To me, if a body of text has a million-and-one translations, that makes it a poor, non-credible, non-dependable and relatively superfluous chunk of word salad.

    Apparently god writes about as well as this guy.

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  21. It has been argued that schizophrenia may have evolved in humans to take advantage of religious tendencies. If paranoid schizophrenics can convincingly spout nonsense about how the mysteries of the universe are revealed to them and them alone, that secures them a place in society. As long as they get to be "prophets" and not "witches".

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  22. Martin,

    Have this guy as co-host for one TAE episode, just one, and Ing will come to Austin and buy you dinner at the best steakhouse you can find.

    No joke.

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  23. George,

    Now I'm wondering if I blew it with this guy. I've already subjected him to heavy ridicule, so there's no way he would agree to come on the show now. But in retrospect, it would have been so much more fun to ask him to call and pretend to be nice to him until he does. Damn it.

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  24. "So you see before you can make claims or even try to tell people about God you first need to know what you are talking about."

    Stop right there.

    You don't have to be crazy to worship here, but it helps...

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  25. He said one thing which I thought interesting. The idea that different "races" are created by different gods kind of fits into the OT myths. The OT reads differently if you imagine that the Israelites were the only people considered to be real people. E.g., the 10 commandments say thou shan't kill. Then god sends guys out to kill. the contradiction disappears if you interpret the commandment to only mean thou shan't kill other Israelites. This guy's interpretation allows for the existence of many gods and necessitates the otherwise meaningless command "Thou shalt worship no god but me."
    Just a thought.

    Please keep printing the crazies.

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  26. Schizophrenic word salad. Just goes to show you one of the problems with religion is that it provides the mentally ill with both delusion fodder and background camouflage.

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  27. "Hello my name is Leroy Blevins Sr. I am C/O of Blevins Biblical Investigation. I have done research on the Bible for over 24 years now and I like to say what people claims the Bible tell us is not what the Bible said.

    Like 1 reason why people don't believe in the Bible is that today we have all this different race of people. And with different jeans-"

    And I'm out


    "What is the Lord God name?
    Answer:Jealous"

    I'm guessing that exactly 3 people will get this but..."And thus Lord God, Jealous did die so that Misa Misa may live"

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  28. On his Big Foot website there is a sentence I couldn't stop laughing at

    "I put it to the test I did thing that they claim can not be done but as I tell my family every day you can do anything if you put your mind to it. For in my dictionary the word can't be found."
    It was rather admirable the lengths he went to in order to recreate the notorious big foot videos that have been debunking for over 40 years.

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  29. If you have too much time and want to find out how deep this rabbit hole of crazy goes, here is his youtube account: http://www.youtube.com/user/BlevinsBI

    Be warned though, that science is tight.

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  30. Horrible but quite humorous! As soon as I read "jeans" I began laughing out loud.

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  31. "Clearly, people who wear button-fly and people who prefer zippers must have come from different parents."

    But I used to wear zippers and now I've switched to buttons. I've obviously been subjected to jeanetic manipulation.

    IT'S A CONSPIRACY!

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  32. I wonder if Mr. Blevins was reading the bible in some other language than english because he writes as if he were ESL.

    It is too bad his research did not actually take him up to Mt. Ararat so that he could see that the ark is nothing but a rock formation. It is not a fossil since they are not associated with igneous rock. Sorry just a rock.

    His next research will probably be the shroud of Turin which he will prove to be authentic by quoting magazine articles.

    He is almost proof that there is no god.

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  33. The Modern Evolutionary Synthesis=

    Man came from monkeys who all wore different jeans.

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  34. too bad he didn't spend those 24 years studying "jean-etics"

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  35. ...Messages like these do nothing to help free me of my prejudice against people called Leroy. It makes me feel terrible that I automatically think idiot when I hear that name, but I keep being fed evidence that it's true.

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  36. "...Messages like these do nothing to help free me of my prejudice against people called Leroy."

    This rule also applies to surnames. Don McLeroy.

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  37. "Have this guy as co-host for one TAE episode, just one, and Ing will come to Austin and buy you dinner at the best steakhouse you can find.

    No joke."

    I whosawhat now?

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  38. I prove my point,
    Now I am the one ROFLMAO

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  39. And that point would be...?

    Please don't just throw in a comment like that. Be specific. What point do you think you've made and why?

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  40. That he's coo-coo for cocoa puffs?

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  41. Legend has it that the the Greek Philosopher Empedocles (ca. 490–430 BC) "proved" he was immortal by jumping into a volcano (Mt. Etna). Hmmm.... Has anyone checked in on old Leroy since he left his last comment?

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  42. What I am talking about is people only believe in what they read and not what they see. People need to believe in what they see more then going on what people tells other people. The letter did not come from me I had my nephew write the letter to show a point. And that point is people only believe in what people tell or say or even read. But as for me I believe in what I see. And what I have seen is the real Noah's ark on Mt.Ararat and the Cherubim at the east of the Garden of Eden. And I found these things by the true words that are told in the Bible and not what others claim the Bible said. Like I always say don't go on what others tell you look for the truth yourself for you are the only person that will not lie to yourself.As for me I don't lie and the reason is I think telling the truth is more fun then a lie.

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  43. So, your nephew wrote the email and you put your name on it, and your point is that you can't believe something just because you read it or because someone told you, and you've personally seen Noah's Ark and cherubim and you found them using the Bible, and people don't lie to themselves, and you certainly don't lie because you prefer telling the truth.

    I can't help feeling that there might possibly be some sort of contradiction somewhere in there. Boy, it must be a subtle one, though.

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  44. "Like I always say don't go on what others tell you..."

    So, doesn't that make both your letter and your comments completely irrelevant?

    "And I found these things by the true words that are told in the Bible"

    Why does the bible get a pass in this regard?

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  45. As funny as a read as this is... this guy is probably schizophrenic and could use some serious help.

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