Friday, May 07, 2010

But...but...it makes no SENSE!

Welcome to Florida, where they hate teh gayz, but are apparently pretty open-minded about furries. The Sunshine State goes out of its way to prevent gays and lesbians from marrying or even adopting (though their adoption ban has been ruled unconstitutional), and yet they just can't seem to muster up the energy to ban bestiality.

But here's what I find confusing, even by the standards of wingnut tomfoolery. Aren't these folks the ones who believe that homosexuality leads to bestiality? Aren't they the ones telling us that buttsecks and being fabulous is just a gateway drug to boning Fido? I mean, Mike Huckabee, Rick Santorum, and our ol' buddy Pat seem to think so, and many others in the I'm-Not-Repressing-Anything-No-I-Mean-It Brigade agree. So is it Florida's position, then, that while The Gay is a threat to the very fabric of our society that must be eradicated at all costs, the presumably-ickier kinks it apparently leads to aren't really much to be worried about? Wouldn't it follow that if homosexuality really corrupts society, then bestiality would be a total apocalyptic leghump for the whole planet? But if they're now saying bestiality is a "rare crime" that it would be a waste of time dealing with legislatively, then aren't they admitting that Huck and Pat and Rick and those guys are (gasp!) wrong!? But how could they be lying to us? They're good Christians! Gah! Dealing with these people makes my poor head* throb. I need a cookie.


*I mean the one on my shoulders. Geez, you people...

10 comments:

  1. LMAO!! Don't you just love the ignorance and arrogance of the fundamentalists? Homosexuality is a no-no, but bestiality is somehow okay? And they use to believe that homosexuality lead to bestiality?! These people crack me up!

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  2. Peter: Yes yes, I know. But I'll bet you dollars to donuts the Florida legislature doesn't.

    ThatAtheistChick: I don't know if it's so much that they think bestiality is "okay." Read the article and you get the impression they're just too grossed out by the idea to want to deal with it. But they're pretty grossed out by teh gay too. So why wouldn't they have the strength of their "moral convictions" to spend as much time battling it legally as they do homosexuality? Maybe it's because bestiality isn't as secretly titillating as homosexuality seems to be to so many homophobes.

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  3. Martin,

    Maybe you want to stop bashing Florida a bit, considering how much of a goat-f**k Texas politics can be. "We" don't hate "teh ghey" any more than you do personally, although there are people in both states who are idiots.

    These idiots and their position are no more a reason for you to take a giant crap on Florida, than the Texas school board nonsense is a reason for the rest of the country to call you names.

    Just food for thought, brother. We're on the same side, so shouldn't we avoid crapping on each other?

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  4. Joe, while I'm sorry you took offense, I suspect very few people who read the post seriously entertained the notion that I was making some sort of blanket condemnation of the thoughts and deeds of every man, woman, child, and dog living in Florida. I mean, I don't take it personally whenever PZ rails about how butt-fucking stupid Texas is. Indeed, living here I'd probably know it better than he does. Acknowledging the tide of stupidity in one's home state doesn't mean you think there's no one and nothing redeemable in the state at all. I mean, I know that's not the case with Florida. I mean, on one hand, it's the home of Katherine Harris, Coral Ridge Ministries, Kent Hovind and the Scientologists. On the other, you guys did go for Obama in '08, and there's always Disney World.

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  5. "Just food for thought, brother. We're on the same side, so shouldn't we avoid crapping on each other?"

    No, ya bastard

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  6. Speaking as a furry, I want to reiterate what Peter said and point out that we aren't into bestiality.

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  7. Chester...just out of curiosity, what is it exactly that you ARE into as a furry?

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  8. Chester...just out of curiosity, what is it exactly that you ARE into as a furry?"

    I'm not a furry (INAF) but I'm gonna guess it's things like the Egyptian gods over the Chinese zodiac

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  9. Regarding furry: Not everyone involved in that community regards it as a sexual thing, for one. A lot of anthropomorphic animal stuff is related to mythology or kids books or sci-fi or any number of things, and there's a strong gay subculture there as well (I don't know why specifically). I don't particularly want to belabor this point, but since a friend of mine draws a rather well-selling PG-13 furry comic I thought I'd throw in my $0.02 here.

    As for the many people who are involved with it as a fetish, I believe the usual defense is that the object of said attraction is that they are interested in people with strong animal characteristics, but not actual animals. This makes it kind of a fantasy fetish, like elves or vampires or Vulcans or (obviously) werewolves, unlike bestiality which is something that you can actually do and involves non-self-aware creatures.

    Which reminds me of a point someone brought up regarding Christian sexual morals. Why do they always go after homosexuality and not bestiality or incest? Because too few people want to do the latter two things for it to make good publicity, and they don't want the embarrassment of bringing it into the public eye for no apparent reason. It's only when they are hurting a lot of people for no good reason that they can make something into an issue to rile their base up.

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