Friday, July 24, 2009

Toodles, Tony!'s convictions on all ten counts for pedophile cult leader Tony Alamo! Naturally, his response is the typical self-aggrandizement of the pathologically narcissistic. "I'm just another one of the prophets who went to jail for the Gospel." Some "prophet"; he couldn't even prophesy his own fate. No, Tony — or Bernie, I mean — you're just another one of the perverts who went to jail for porking little kids.

So, to complete our celebration of Alamo's downfall, I guess it's time now to pick our winners in the "Can you write like allexus8?" contest. So...below are the links to the entries, and in the sidebar is the poll to vote, which will only be open 5 days. (There is such a thing as flogging a joke to death.) Have fun, and maybe, in five days, I'll have thought of a prize. Unless allexus8 wins. You've already got your prize, haven't you?

The entrants are... (feel free to imagine a drum roll here, if you want to play this out to full cheese effect)

Something distresses me about this photo of Alamo. I'm sure the resemblance to our very own beloved John Iacoletti is totally coincidental.


  1. ha! I can't even vote for myself because the final option is so true!


  2. Quick! Measure the distances between his facial features and compare them to known criminals! Everybody knows that's a reliable method of determining criminal tendencies...

  3. So Alamo is like John's evil alter ego? Like Hyde is Jeckyls? Only judging by the picture, instead of stress or lust bringing out the demon, Alamo apparently arises when John is really really constipated?

  4. On an interesting but only tagentally related note, I had a great uncle who looked just like shaved Hitler.

  5. I've been reading a lot of the posts and comments on here, all of you guys seem pretty intelligent, this is an honest question. Why do "atheists" propagate their beliefs so adamantly? Why do you care what other people believe?

  6. @Zach

    I imagine that there are a variety of answers you would receive from a variety of atheists. I think most of us don't care if people practice their crazy beliefs behind closed doors and it never rears it's head in public policy.

    But when a theist group attacks the science in a textbook, or a politician refuses to support environmental legislation because God promised not to destroy the world, or if another one forwards discriminatory legislation to punish "sinners" (i.e. gay marriage bans etc...) then people like us get upset and vocal.

  7. @ Inq
    My Grandfather looked like Hitler without a moustache :(

  8. I didn't even know what to say about this guy. Everything I despise about religion is personified by Tony Alamo. I mean, if an atheist were to invent a caricature of a religious leader, I'd be surprised if they came up with one as unoriginal and stereotypical as this evil bastard.

  9. @ChaosSong

    I respect your answer, but consider this...What constitutes "crazy beliefs" that should be practiced behind closed doors? Don't those who are elected to public office have the responsibility to implement the beliefs of those who elected them in public policy?

    The reason that theist groups attack scientific opinion in textbooks is because those who believe in God don't want science that they believe to be flawed pushed on their children. Creation theory should be presented equally in public education with evolutionary theory, because they are both just that, theories. It takes faith to believe that either is true. I think the only reason popular science so adamantly oppresses intelligent design is because the acceptance of it would be to concede that there is a designer and therefore a higher being to be held accountable to. To me it would take more blind faith to believe that the universe is the product of chance.

    I will agree that the refusal of environmental legislation based one's religion is twisted. God only promised not to destroy the world by flood and he didn't promise that he wouldn't let us destroy it by our irresponsibility.

    Finally you mention that you think legislation against gay marriage is discriminatory. I disagree; it's simply an effort to uphold morality in our society. You will ask what gives them the right to decide what is moral. I would ask you as an atheist how you define morality. What makes murder wrong and homosexuality okay? I am not like many "Christians" who brew hate against gays, but I don't want my children to be subjected to the idea that it's okay to be gay. On that note, I'm curious, do most atheists accept homosexuality?

    I enjoy the interaction here and invite you to visit my very new blog at

  10. Oop! well that's what I get, lol.

    Let's see here, crazy beliefs are those not supported by evidence: minotaurs, vampires, gods, elves, shoelace fairies - that sort of thing.

    "Creation Science" is by no means a theory - it's a silly hypothesis that's impossible to test. Without experimentation, a hypothesis has no chance of graduating to a theory. Yes, competing theories should be taught - if there were any. Evolution has been a theory now for decades and the older a theory gets without being debunked the closer it is to truth. The only thing I can think of that came close to a competing theory is Lamarkian Evolution, but that was debunked some time ago.

    If you would like to learn more about evolution and the origins of our species, take a look at

    I can't talk about floods and homosexuality without getting even more insulting so if someone else wants to field those points, feel free.

  11. @ChaosSong

    I'm going to continue our discussion on the Ray Comfort vs Thunderfoot post, seems it might catch some attention.

  12. Should I be worried that the photo also bears a strong likeness to George Castanza?.

    Well I was discussing this case with friends and it was unanimous.

    He diddled kids, do not pass rapture do not collect two hundred dollars.

  13. "What makes murder wrong and homosexuality okay? I am not like many "Christians" who brew hate against gays, but I don't want my children to be subjected to the idea that it's okay to be gay."

    Ok, know what Zach. do brew hate against gays. You don't want your kids to accept gays. You want your kids to hate gays. IF you can't see the hypocrisy of saying "Gays are as bad as murderers" and then saying "but I don't' hate gay" fuck you. Seriously, don't piss on my leg and say it's raining.

  14. @Zack:

    Wow, you've said a lot of things that need explaining there. First you need to tell us why the science behind evolution is flawed, then you need to tell us why homosexuality is wrong, then you need to tell us a good non-religious reason to deny homosexuals sexular marriage, then you need to tell us why we should care that your kids will be exposed to ideas you don't like, and why the rest of society owes it to you to help you in protecting them from things you don't like. Unfortunately, this is not the venue as we are venturing wayyyy off topic here. You've opened up the usual can of anti-evolution, atheist-hounding stuff we hear all the time. I'm sure some of us would be happy to engage you on it, but perhaps you should invite us to your blog as that isn't the topic of this post.

  15. "Should I be worried that the photo also bears a strong likeness to George Castanza?."


  16. The internet is a fabulous system for expressing our emotions, is it not, just and worthy liege? So, ‘having more than enough’ in this finite world is for the greedy. Why? We all must die (Acts17:26). To be truly successful takes a large amount of BAWLS. Yes, yes, we have TWO between our legs, but, yet, it really amounts to thy cranium. How so, you ask? I'll start with a quote: Why can’t we all just get along? -Rod King I’ll tell youse why (sorry, New Joisey accent). From the beginning of time, those with power and massive wealth, the greedy 2%ers, are doing everything they can to pit U.S. - the world, too - against each other. And, apparently, it works. YOU can most certainly follow them and perish withat on thy indelible soul (not a wise choice), but you don’t have to!! Break-free to wiseabove!! Look forward to the Heaven Above prepared outta infinite love God has bestowed upon those that do His will, for when this wearisome existence is finished, we’ll laugh Upstairs at how long it seemed… all the Way to the Bank of the Almighty!! God bless you, my friend; hang-in-there. I love you, dude. I wanna see YOU make the Great Beyond. Don’t give up. Trust Jesus.

  17. Yike! I should read the blog more often. I just now saw this. I knew there was a good reason I shaved my head! - beloved John


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