Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Kirk Cameron to Host Atheist Experience

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

In a press conference today, Matt Dillahunty, host of The Atheist Experience, announced that he would retire and hand over the reigns to film actor, long-time atheist, and master comedian Kirk Cameron.

The 38 year old Cameron is a former child actor who starred in the hit comedy series Growing Pains, before going on to perform in popular Christian apologetics movies including Left Behind and Fireproof. "I'm thrilled and honored to be joining the cast of the prestigious Atheist Experience," Cameron told reporters today. "This apologetics thing has been a great joke to pull, but I think it's time for me to move on to a new challenge worthy of my stagecraft."

Cameron staged a fake conversion to Christianity in 1987, at the height of popularity for Growing Pains. He went on to deliberately alienate many of his friends and coworkers by loudly complaining about the "immorality" and "pornography" on the family sitcom.

"I'm a lifelong fan of Andy Kaufman," explained Cameron. "Even after a few years had passed, the world was still abuzz with stories about Andy's death.  The guy had terminal cancer, and still everyone believed that he faked it. I mean, his practical jokes were legendary -- the myth has long outlived the man. Once I grew out of my 'cute kid' stage, I knew that my acting career was in danger of stalling out. That's when I decided that the best way to jump start it would be to take on the role of a lifetime. I had to convince the world that my whole personality had changed."

Cameron went on to ingratiate himself with unsuspecting Christian filmmakers, conniving his way into several promising film projects and ultimately ruining them. "This was my gift to atheism," said Cameron. "I'm just relieved that I can finally say what I really think on The Atheist Experience, and stop playing a double role."

Some of Cameron's dupes took news of the prank in good humor. "Now there's an actor," gushed Left Behind director Vic Sarin. "Everybody else seemed to recognize that the script we were working with was complete crap. But Kirk approached the project with such apparently sincere excitement that we kind of felt bad... we were all just collecting a paycheck. Now I understand that his awful hack performance was all part of a grand meta-theater project of his own devising. What an artist!"

Not everyone took the news kindly, however. New Zealand evangelist Ray Comfort, 59, was shocked by Cameron's revelation. "I'm simply stunned by this turn of events," Comfort told reporters despondently outside his home in Bellflower, California. "My goodness gracious, I've known the bloke since 2001. The crocoduck was his idea when we debated the Rational Response Squad. We bloody well worked on every episode of Way of the Master together. To receive news like this out of nowhere? I mean... crikey."

When told of Comfort's distress, Cameron was nonchalant. "Yeah, you kind of have to feel sorry for the guy... but come on, fooling Ray was not exactly the feat of the century. I mean, he fell for Christianity."

Cameron then added: "God damn it, where's the nearest bar? I haven't been laid properly in 22 years. I can't believe I passed up on that Julie McCullough chick for the sake of a joke. Now she was one fine piece of ass.

"What can I say? I'm dedicated to my craft."

32 comments:

  1. Nice one!

    Happy April Fool's eveyone!

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  2. I saw the article title flash up in Outlook's RSS feed and for a second there it was a disorienting WTF moment. I literally stared for a couple of seconds before realisation kicked in and I came here to read the article.

    Well played, Russell, well played.

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  3. Well I for one am relieved that I can finally enjoy the stagecraft of Kirk Cameron once again.

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  4. I prefer my April Fools Jokes to be believable and really fool people. But still it was amusing to read. :D

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  5. That actually makes more sense than the last 22 years.

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  6. Would have been funnier if it had just been "Matt D has quit the AE saying: of course there is a God, just look at the trees!"

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  7. @Angry Atheist:

    That is so last year, dude.

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  8. Oh, that didn't fool me even for a split second... but that might be because I've been practicing my scepticism for a while. :-)

    Last year's prank was way better.

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  9. Now, that's what I call method acting. DeNiro should take a slice of that.

    Will Kirk be able to make regular appearances, what with all the appearances on Family Guy? Where does he take the time. Please respond here, Kirk.

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  10. Happy atheist day to all! AWESOME!

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  11. @Kazim

    Lol. Obviously I'm not the only comic genius around here ;)

    Seriously, I'm relatively new to the show and blog. But I was pretty sure I'd read all the old posts. Must have missed that one.....

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  12. There was one brief moment of excitement -- one fleeting, joyous surge before I looked at the date.

    damn.

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  13. But will Ray Comfort debate Kirk, even though he's refused to debate Matt?

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  14. Hilarious!!

    Its true (even being an evangelical), his presence is a "gift to atheism"

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  15. Oh, I thought that Kirk Cameron was one of the many persona played by Fred Savage, from the Wonder Years.

    That's what you get for getting your information from Family Guy episodes.

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  16. Wow. Way to brighten my day! I love you guys.

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  17. For some reason, I found the phrase "master comedian Kirk Cameron" to be the funniest part.

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  18. @Protolobsis

    For some reason, I found the phrase "master comedian Kirk Cameron" to be the funniest part.

    I thought he was a master fisherman's assistant...

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  19. it makes me wonder how you can one-up this next year. How about:

    1. Ray Comfort finds atheism..... and love of bananas
    2. Pope promotes contraceptives
    3. Israel apologises for occupation.
    4. Historians find evidence that Mohammed prefered bikini babes.

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  20. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  21. I think the really important question is- is he going to have Boner in as co-host?

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  22. I'm quite sure Muhammed would like bikini babes. He'd nail anything with a pair of breasts. However, he don't want to give others a piece of the action.

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  23. I am waiting to see Kirk to host tomorrow. :P

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  24. @Love

    Eight year-olds, Dude.

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  25. If Kirk Cameron turned out to be faking the whole dumbass-apologetics thing, I absolutely would call him a master comedian. With the help of Ray Comfort, he came up with some of the most hilarious things I have seen in years (see: Banana Argument).

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  26. Nicely Crafted. Now when is Tom Cruise joining?

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  27. I knew this was fake- Kiwis don't say "crikey".

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  28. I totally DISAGREE with everyone HERE!!! if this is for REAL I think the so-called "Atheist Experience" has just made a CONTRADICTION!!!!, it is CRUEL to play this so-called JOKE on Christians!!!, don't get me wrong I don't believe in revealed religion but when so-called "Atheist" begin to ACT as BAD and Hypocritical has Christians do THAN they HAVE WON THE BATTTLE OF IGNORANCE who has pulled one on who is the question today, Cameron is a confused puppy, bad actor and over-rated by many, now all of a sudden Cameron is a "good guy", well morality develop either in early Egypt or Mesopotamia , not Christianity, if we are going to shred the cloud of ignorance from revealed religions than it must be done by pure reason, lately the renown Stephen Hawking stated “heaven is a fairy tale” but he provided his personal reasons for it, not a so-called “long term evil plan religious take over” and a lot of atheist who posted their approval sound like primitive-man believing a “Deity Conversion” GUYS WAKE_UP!!!!, if Cameron would of just said I converted to Christianity, but now realize I cannot believe in it’s policies than I would have more RESPECT for him and the “Atheist Experience”, Matt Dillahunty come’ on you don’t need this as your torch bearer!!!

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